14 Feb 2019 When You Don’t Even Know It’s Monday
by Faith |
The sun has yet to peek through the curtains when I hear a little voice standing beside the bed saying, “Mommy, I’m hungry.” It’s Monday morning once again, and just getting out of bed seems like a daunting task. The daily demands meet me before I can even put my feet to the ground, and I feel the selfishness of my will beginning to rise, grumbling within me. The feelings are most unwelcome, yet all too familiar. And I know I’m not the only one who wakes up feeling this way…
Tired, unmotivated, overwhelmed in the mundane of life, simply surviving yet longing to truly live.
I somehow manage to stumble out of bed, give him some cereal, get the coffee brewing, and then, with eyes half open, I lay down on the couch. Not missing a beat, he comes close to my face and asks me to read to him while he munches loudly, leaving crunchy remnants on the carpet below. And in that moment, I realize I have a choice to make: to be faithful in this work of mothering or to simply not be. And I know what I should do, but I don’t really feel like doing it.
A wise friend once told me, “If we decide to wait until we feel like doing the things we’ve been given by God to do, then we will probably never do them but we will most certainly miss out on the gifts that come from living a life of faithfulness.”
He’s standing close to me still, waiting for a response, anticipating reciprocation. I let out a deep sigh and open my tired eyes to see his bright eyes staring back at me. I sit up now, my eyes finally open, and we read together some of the most humbling words anyone could ever read.
“And Jesus knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done’” (Luke 22:42).
Though my struggles are not at all the same as Jesus’s in that moment, I must admit that sometimes this is my prayer, as I so desperately want “this cup” removed from me: the interrupted sleep, the constant correcting and training, the continual whining, as well as being “on call” 24/7! But mostly I want my work to be seen and appreciated, to be understood and validated, to see progress and completion at the end of the day rather than a messy house, wild children, and a mountain of laundry. But deep down I know that this is not the type of work that the Lord has given me to do and that He actually sees it all, every moment of every day. Because I work for Him and all that is truly required of me is faithfulness.
As I look to the Perfect Example of surrender, I begin to surrender.
As I begin to compare the insignificance of my circumstances to the significance of His, my perspective changes. Now truth is taking over.
As I remember who He is and who I am and what He’s done, all grumbling ceases and I am brought into thanksgiving and praise.
It’s not about my will anymore; it’s only about Him now.
My work matters to God because I matter to God. And more than results or perfection, it’s simply faithfulness that is required.
You see, it’s not just the big decisions in life that shape us into who we are; it’s the thousand insignificant daily decisions that mold us into who we are truly becoming. We can live our lives dreaming up the best version of ourselves, or we can strive to be the best version of ourselves, allowing God to do His work within us as we continue to do our work, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
To get out of bed.
Kiss our family.
Open the Word.
Begin our work.
And keep on doing the next right thing.
My prayer is that we don’t wake up with our chief goal simply being to make it through another day, but that we want to live and to do our work faithfully so we can be a church for our neighbors, the next generation, and to those in need, for the glory of God.
As a mom, I can admit that life is indeed tiring, but I know I can draw strength from God. Lack of motivation is inevitable, but I know I can allow God to refresh my perspective and purpose, and the mundane doesn’t have to be dreaded. Instead, it can be embraced.
Even on Mondays.
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